Space Jammed!

the BIG one!

2006-06-17T05:14:00.000-07:00

My baby's turning one!

2006-06-13T05:13:00.000-07:00

2006-06-01T04:20:00.000-07:00

Pictures speak...

2006-05-09T23:38:00.000-07:00

She's not blond!

What an Irony!

Party Animal?

Painted on hand.. Amazing!

2006-05-06T00:54:00.000-07:00

HR Lessons

2006-05-02T21:33:00.000-07:00

HOW TO RECRUIT THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THE JOB?

Put about 100 bricks in some particular order in a closed room with an
open window.

Then send 2 or 3 candidates in the room and close the door.

Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours and then analyze the
situation.

If they are counting the bricks....Put them in the accounts department.

If they are recounting them...Put them in auditing.

If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks...Put them in
engineering.

If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order...Put them in
planning.

If they are throwing the bricks at each other...Put them in operations.

If they are sleeping...Put them in security.

If they have broken the bricks into pieces...Put them in information
technology.

If they are sitting idle...Put them in human resources.

If they say they have tried different combinations, yet not a brick has
been moved...Put them in sales.

If they have already left for the day...Put them in marketing.

If they are staring out of the window...Put them on strategic planning.

And then last but not least...If they are talking to each other and not
a single brick has been moved.

Congratulate them and put them in top management.

May Mania

2006-05-01T21:27:00.000-07:00

Now is the month of Maying,
When merry lads are playing.
Fa la la...
Each with his bonny lass,
upon the greeny grass.
Fa la la...
The Spring clad all in gladness,
Doth laugh at winter's sadness.
Fa la la...

© Thomas Morley

Happy May folks!!

Some trivia on May...The name for the month of 'May' has been believed to derive from 'Maia', who was revered as the Roman 'Goddess of Springtime, of Growth and Increase', and the mother of 'Mercury', the winged messenger of the Gods. Yet this is disputed as before these deities featured in mythology the name 'Maius' or 'Magius', taken from the root 'Mag', meaning the 'Growing month' or 'Shooting month' was used.

Mother's day falls on May 14th

Mother's Day is a time of commemoration and celebration for Mom. It is a time of breakfast in bed, family gatherings, and crayon scribbled "I Love You"s. Someone said you know you are a mom when you stop criticizing the way your mother raised you. So here's something for my mom! :))

Thank You Mom

I know how often I took you for granted
when I was growing up.
I always assumed you'd be there
when I needed you...
and you always were.

But I never really thought about what that meant
till I got older and began to realize
how often your time and energy were devoted to me.
so now, for all the times I didn't say it before,
thank you, Mom.... I love you so very much!

:-))

Drink & Drive ?

2006-04-08T03:32:00.000-07:00

Happy April !!

2006-04-03T00:41:00.000-07:00

So...

The April Spring has really come, with sky so blue and air is so warm
With birds chirping a lovely sound..the leaves falling on the ground

Being busy day and night, we forget to enjoy the delightful sight
And when the work is done for the day, totally fagged out ..we just lay

Wish I could enjoy this April sun, do nothing and have some fun!
I could just leave and run away, right now..in the middle of the day!

:))

Trivia is boring someone said... but let me tell you its been read
April is a National Poetry Month it says... Here's a peom called an April Day

----

When the warm sun, that brings
Seed-time and harvest, has returned again,
'T is sweet to visit the still wood, where springs
The first flower of the plain.

I love the season well,
When forest glades are teeming with bright forms,
Nor dark and many-folded clouds foretell
The coming-on of storms.

From the earth's loosened mould
The sapling draws its sustenance, and thrives;
Though stricken to the heart with winter's cold,
The drooping tree revives.

The softly-warbled song
Comes from the pleasant woods, and colored wings
Glance quick in the bright sun, that moves along
The forest openings.

When the bright sunset fills
The silver woods with light, the green slope throws
Its shadows in the hollows of the hills,
And wide the upland glows.

And when the eve is born,
In the blue lake the sky, o'er-reaching far,
Is hollowed out and the moon dips her horn,
And twinkles many a star.

Inverted in the tide
Stand the gray rocks, and trembling shadows throw,
And the fair trees look over, side by side,
And see themselves below.

Sweet April! many a thought
Is wedded unto thee, as hearts are wed;
Nor shall they fail, till, to its autumn brought,
Life's golden fruit is shed.

An April Day © Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Aparna ~

Letter to Microsoft !

2006-03-30T20:54:00.000-08:00

Most recent email forward received... Good but not great!!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
LETTER TO MICROSOFT:-

Dear Microsoft Technical Support,

I am desperate for some help. I recently upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that the new program began giving unexpected errors and also took up a lot of space and valuable resources. This wasn't mentioned in the product brochure. In addition Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization where it monitors all other system activity.

Applications such as Boys Night Out 2.5, and Cricket 5.3 no longer run and crash the system whenever selected. Attempting to operate Saturday Sports, Bar 6.3 always fails but Saturday Shopping 7.1 runs instead. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background whilst attempting to run any of my favorite applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend7.0 but uninstall doesn't work on this program.

With regards,
John.

THE REPLY FROM MICROSOFT: -

Dear John,

This is a very common problem resulting from a basic misunderstanding. Many men upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program.Whereas Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM designed by its creator to run everything. You are unlikely to be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0 as Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this and it is impossible to uninstall, delete or purge the program files from the system once installed. Some people have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or wife 2.0 but have ended up with even more problems. (See in manual under alimony Support and Solicitors Fees). Having Wife1.0 installed myself I recommend you keep it installed and deal with the difficulties as best you can. When any faults or problems occur, whatever you think has caused them, you must run the C:\I APOLOGISE program and avoid attempting to use the * Esc-key. It may be necessary to run C:\I APOLOGISE a number of times but hopefully eventually the operating system will return to normal. Wife 1.0 although a very high maintenance program can be very rewarding. To get the most out of it consider buying additional software such as Flowers 2.0 and Chocolates 5.0. Do not under any circumstances install Secretary36.24.36 (Short Skirt version) as this is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and the system will almost certainly crash. Thank you for using the program!!

With regards,
Bill

P.S. In no case try to install the free software (Mother-in-Law 1.0) that comes with WIFE 1.0 operating system. Installing the software would lead to Not Responding messages from Wife1.0 operating system

India by 2020

2006-03-28T23:08:00.000-08:00

Very old one but adding to my collection -

All Surd !!

2006-03-24T22:22:00.000-08:00

Srdr: I hav'nt slept all nite in the train.
Frnd: Y?
Srdr: Got upper berth.
Frnd: Y did'nt u Xchnged?
Srdr: oye, there was nobody 2 Xchng in the lower berth..

Sardar tells a girl "Come 2 my house at nite, nobody will b there.....
Girl goes at night & realy nobody was there

A sardar invested 2 Lakhs in a business and Suffered huge Loss. Do u know what the business was? He opened a Saloon in Punjab!.

A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after Every 10 sec a women gives birth to a kid.
A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!.

Sardar-why r all these people running?
Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why r others running?

Sardar had twins; he named them Tin Martin.
Again had twins & named Peter & Repeater.
again twins & named Max & Climax.
Again d same. Disgusted Sardar named them TIRED & RETIRED!

19 SARDARS WENT 4A FILM.ON ASKING THEM Y THEY CAME IN A BIG GROUP OF 19? THEY REPLIED THAT THE FILM WAS ONLY FOR ABOVE 18...

A sardharji photographer focusing a dead body's
face in a funeral function, suddenly all relatives beat him why? He said "SMILE PLEASE"

Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense. Sardar:The future tense is "u will go to jail".

Srdr gets ready,wears tie,coat,goes out,climbs tree,
sits on the branch regularly.
A man asks why he does this.
Srdr:"I've been promoted as branch manager."

Sardarji standing below a tube light with a open mouth......... WHY? because his doctor advised him "Todays dinner should be light"

Sardarji was filling up application form for a job.
He was not sure as to what to be filled in column "Salary Expected". After much thought he wrote : Yes!

SARDAR & FAMILY GO 2 A PARTY.
HE INTRODUCES HIMSELF - I SARDAR,SHE SARDARNEE, THE BOY MY KID & THE GIRL MY KIDNEY....

One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his college. U knw Why? Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking...

Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant:It"s already raining. Sardar:So what take an umbrella and go.

Santa! Your daughter has died!
Depressed, Sardar jumps from 100th floor
At 50th floor he remembers I don't have a daughter!
At 25flr:I'm unmarried!
At 10flr:I'm Banta not santa

ON A ROMANTIC DATE SARDARS GIRL FRIEND ASKS HIM,DARLING ON OUR ENGAGEMENT WILL U GIVE ME A RING? HE SAID YA SURE WHATS YOUR PHONE NUMBER.

Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever - What will come first, Chicken or egg? O Yaar, what ever u order first will come first.

A dog was chasing a Sardar and the Sardar was laughing.
A bystander: why are u laughing?
Sardar: I have a Airtel cell phone but still hutch network is following me.

Sardar wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket.
Dealer gave 11 cr after deducting tax.
Angry Sardar: "Give me 20cr or else return my 20 Rs back.!

A teacher told all students in a class to write an
essay on a cricket match.All were busy writing except one Sardarji.He wrote"DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"

Postman:- I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver U This Packet >
Sardar:- why did u come so far. Instead u could have posted it....

What does a sardar do after taking a xerox?
He will compare it with the original for any spelling mistakes.

>Sardar proposed a Girl......
Girl said 'I'm 1yr elder to you'......
Sardar said 'Oye No Problem Soniye,I'll marry you NEXT YEAR.

WHY CANT SARDARS DIAL NINE-ELEVEN (911) AT EMERGENCY?
* THEY CAN NOT FIND THE ELEVEN ON THE PHONE.*

Sardar & his wife buy coffee in a shop.
Sardar says... Drink quickly......
Wife asks why...
sardar says hot coffee Rs5 and cold coffee Rs10

A Sardar & his wife filed an application 4 Divorce.
Judge asked: How'll U divide, U"VE 3 children?
Sardar replied:Ok! We"ll apply NEXT YEAR.

Sardar's wish :when i die,i wana die like my grandpa who died peacefuly in his sleep not screamin like all d passengers in the car he was driving......

Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible
looking thing is what you call modern art ?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror!

Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?
Sardar:"I'm writing 2 my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast.

Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in punjab. Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still digging for more..

A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not in the morning. Sardarji replied ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.

Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
Man says CHIN YU YAN n dies.
Srdr goes2 china 2 find meaning of friends last words.
It is 'U R STANDNG ON D OXGN TUBE!"

Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed. His wife asked what you are doing ? He said-im seeing how i look while sleeping.

Presence of Mind!

2006-03-24T21:24:00.000-08:00

John works in a supermarket. A man came in and asked John for half a kilogram of butter. The boy told him they only sold 1 kg packets of butter, but the man was persistent. The boy said he'd go ask his manager what to do.

John walked into the back room and said, "There's a bloody fellow out there who wants to buy only half a kilo of butter." As he finished saying this he turned around to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "And this gentleman wants to buy the other half."

The manager finished the deal and later said to John, "You almost got yourself in a lot of trouble earlier, but I must say I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of it. You think on your feet, and I like it a lot.

Which place are you from?"

John replied, "I'm from Mexico , sir."

"Oh really? Why did you leave Mexico ?" asked the manager.

John replied, "They're all just prostitutes and soccer players up there."

The manager's face became red.."My wife is from Mexico ," he said.

"Oh." John replied, "Which team did she play for?"

IMPACT due to the change in JOB....

2006-03-17T00:01:00.001-08:00

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question.

The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window.

For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said:

"Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!".

The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much."

The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver - I've been driving a van carrying dead Bodies for the last 25 years.

:)))

Good ol' school days!

2006-03-15T22:55:00.000-08:00

Exam Time Blues

deriving licen applikason phoromva!

2006-03-13T21:06:00.000-08:00

DERIVING LICENSE APPLIKASON PHOROM
------------------------------------------ -----------------------
NOTE: Please do not soot the person at the applikason kounter.

He will give you the licen.

If you dot know how to fill ,copy from your phriend (dost)applikason.

For phurthar instructions, see bottom applikason.

1. Last name:
(_) Yadav (_) Sinha (_) Pandey (_) Misra (_) Dont no

(Check karet box)

2. phust name:
(_) Ramprasad (_) Lakhan (_) Sivprasad (_) Jamnaprasad (_) Dont no

(Check karet box)

3. Age:
(_) Less than phipty (_) Greater than phipty (_) Dont no

(Check karet box)

4. Sex: ____ M _____(F) _____ not sure _____not applicable

5. Chappal Size: ____ Lepht ____ Right

6.Occupason:
(_) Politison (_) Doodhwala (_) Pehelwaan (_) House wife (_) Un-employed

(Check karet box)

7. Number of children libing in the household: ___

8. Number that are yourj: ___

9. Mather name: _______________________

10.Phather Name: ______________ (If not no, leabe blank)

11.Ejjucason: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest kilass attended)

12.Dental rekard:
(_) Ellow (_) Berownish-ellow (_) Berown (_) Belack (_) Other -__________ Give egjhakt color

(Check karet box)

13.Your thumb imparesson :

____________________________

(If you are copying from another applikason pharom, pleaje do not copy thumb impression also. Pleaje provide your own thumb impression.)

PELEAJE DO NOT USE PHINGERS OF YOUR LEGS

Use thumb on your lepht hand only. If you dont have lepht hand, use your thumb on right hand. If you do not have right hand, use thumb on lepht hand.

NOTE : IF YOU DONT HAVE BOTH HANDS, YOU CANNOT DERIVE.

WE ARE VARY ISTRICT ABOUT THIS

Women's Day!

2006-03-08T04:17:00.000-08:00

Vivekananda said...

2006-03-06T00:00:00.000-08:00

Arrow goes forward only after pulling in to backward.

Bullet goes forward only after pressing the Trigger backward.

Such that every human being will get happy only after facing the difficulties in their life path..

So don't afraid to face difficulties.

They will push you forward.

March Trivia !!

2006-03-01T01:51:00.000-08:00

Who likes March?

Remember those days when this used to be your favourite month. Exams over... Summer Hols... Just khelo kudho aur mauj karo!

Sigh!

Now its sheer nightmare

March is now a TAX month. Its the month of "Truth or Consequences"

Did you know that in ancient Rome, March was called Martius, so named after the Roman God of war and was considered a lucky time to begin a war.

March was originally the first month of the Roman calendar because the winter months of January and February were unsuited for warfare, the essence of any Italic state

The tradition seem to be continuing... after all Audits, Month Closing, Tax declarations are nothing less than war for us. War with your HR; War with your CA; And a condition called Separation Anxiety!

Sniff and a deep sigh!

More trivia on the month?

The equinox named the vernal or spring equinox in the northern hemisphere and the autumnal equinox in the southern hemisphere occurs on dates varying from 19 March to 21 March.

March begins on the same day of the week as February except in a leap year, and on the same day of the week as November every year.

Anyways.. wish you all a very happy.. and a true blue March!

Yen'joy!!

Insured???

2006-02-26T23:51:00.000-08:00

hahahhahahaaaa ... good one isnt it?

SPAM

2006-02-26T23:22:00.000-08:00

Appraisal Vs Resignation

2006-02-24T21:40:00.000-08:00

A newly joined trainee engineer asks his boss "what is the meaning of appraisal?"

Boss: "Do you know the meaning of resignation?"

Trainee: "Yes I do"

Boss: "So let me make you understand what a appraisal is by comparing it with resignation"

Comparison study: Appraisal and Resignation

In appraisal meeting they will speak only about your weakness, errors and failures.
In resignation meeting they will speak only about your strengths, past achievements and success.

In appraisal you may need to cry and beg for even 10% hike.
In resignation you can easily demand (or get even without asking) more than 50-60% hike.

During appraisal, they will deny promotion saying you didn't meet the expectation, you don't have leadership qualities, and you had several drawbacks in our objective/goal.
During resignation, they will say you are the core member of team; you are the vision of the company how can you go, you have to take the project in shoulder and lead your juniors to success.

There is 90% chance for not getting any significant incentives after appraisal.
There is 90% chance of getting immediate hike after you put the resignation.

Trainee: "Yes boss enough, now I understood my future."

Why do we forward jokes ???!!!

2006-02-19T23:23:00.000-08:00

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.

He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.

After a while, they came to a

high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.

When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.

When he was close enough, he called out, "Excuse me, where are we?"

"This is Heaven, sir," the man answered.

"Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" the man asked.

"Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up."

The man gestured, and the gate began to open.

"Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in, too?" the traveler asked.

"I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets."
The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.

After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence.

As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.

"Excuse me!" he called to the man. "Do you have any water?"

"Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in."

"How about my friend here?" the traveler gestured to the dog.

"There should be a bowl by the pump."

They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it.

The traveler filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog.
When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree.

"What do you call this place?" the traveler asked.

"This is Heaven," he answered.

"Well, that's confusing," the traveler said. "The man down the road said that was Heaven, too."

"Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's hell."

"Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?"

"No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind."

Soooo.

Sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding jokes to us without writing a word.

Maybe this will explain.

When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess what you do? You forward jokes.

When you have nothing to say, but still want to keep contact, you forward jokes.

When you have something to say, but don't know what, and don't know how, you forward jokes.

Also to let you know that you are still remembered, you are still important, you are still loved, you are still cared for, guess what you get?

A forwarded joke.

So, next time if you get a joke, don't think that you've been sent just another forwarded joke, but that you've been thought of today and your friend on the other end of your computer wanted to send you a smile.

You are all welcome @ my water bowl anytime

Frozen Cherry Trees! Beautiful.................

2006-02-15T01:22:00.000-08:00

Inspire!

2006-02-08T22:41:00.000-08:00

The World we all share is given to us in trust. Every choice we make regarding the earth, air, and water around us should be made with the objective of preserving it for all generations to come.
- August A. Bush III

Sister's D-day!

2006-02-08T03:31:00.000-08:00

Phew... what a view!!!

2006-01-06T02:36:00.000-08:00

Fantastic... isnt it?

Celebrate The New Year

2005-12-28T01:31:00.000-08:00

The clock is ticking...let's gather with cheer,
With a drink of wine or an ice cold beer

Perhaps you're like me and don't drink the swill,
Or your like my grandparents who live on pills.

Maybe this world seems harsh at times,
Or its just that most of us just like to whine.

I'd say that this is a great place to be,
It all depends on how we can see.

True we've had bad things in the past,
But we know in our hearts that these will not last.

If we try our best to be simple and pure,
There's nothing our hopes and dreams cannot cure.

So, I don't know the value this is worth,
But lets all try to be happy and heal Mother Earth!

Somethings, this Christmas...

2005-12-26T00:05:00.000-08:00

Christmas: The time when everyone gets Santamental.

I know. I know. I know that people say "It's the thought that counts, not the gift", but couldn't people think a little bigger!

Santa Claus is a Jolly fellow! Imagine all that driving and still being able to say "Ho! Ho! Ho!

Father to three-year old: "No a reindeer is not a horse with TV antenna.

Every year, Christmas becomes less a birthday and more a Clearance Sale.

Christmas is in my heart twelve months a year and thanks to credit cards, it's on my Visa Card Statement twelve months a year also.

Some of these new toys are so creative and inventive. This year they have a Neurotic Doll. It's wound up already.

Chinese whispers >>>

2005-12-23T02:23:00.001-08:00

From: Managing Director
To Production Director
"Tomorrow there will be a total eclipse of the sun at nine O"clock. This is something which we cannot see happen every day. So let the workforce line up outside, in their best clothes, to watch it. To mark the occasion of this rare occurrence, I will personally explain the phenomenon to them. If it is raining we shall not be able to see it very well and in that case the workforce should assemble in the canteen."

From Production Director
To Production Manager
"By order of the Managing Director, there will be a total eclipse of the sun at nine O'clock tomorrow morning. If it is raining we shall not be able to see it very well on site, in our best
clothes. In that case, the disappearance of the sun will be followed through in the canteen.
This is something that we cannot see happen every day".

From Production Manager
To Departmental Manager
"By order of the Managing Director, we shall follow through in our best clothes, the disappearance of the sun in the canteen tomorrow at nine O'clock. The Managing Director will tell us whether it is going to rain. This is something which we cannot see happen every day".

From Departmental Manager
To Foreman
"If it is raining in the canteen tomorrow morning, which is something that we cannot see happen every day, the Managing Director, in his best clothes will disappear at Nine O'clock."

From Foreman
To All Operators
"Tomorrow morning at nine O'clock, the Managing Director will disappear. It is a pity that we cannot see this happen everyday".

:))))))

sir sardar!

2005-12-16T02:58:00.000-08:00

You might have read the latest news: “Some sardars are reported intelligent”.
News started pouring in from the press from various parts of the country about this unbelievable story.
The CBI is stil investigating what went wrong withthese few unusual sardars. This report from Delhi is about a Sardar who is a MP by chance. Some hot discussion was going on in Parliament. Our sardar did not care whatthat was about.
Growing weary of the noise he stood up and grabbed the mike. “Half the MPs here are dogs!” he proclaimed.
The Parlimentary Leader thought this was derogatory. “You’ve got to withdraw your statemet!” said the leader.
“Ok. I will. But I can withdraw only what I said” said the sardar.
“THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT WE ALL WANT!”, shouted the crowed.
“OK. Half the MPs here are NOT dogs”, he said.

Fallen Tomato - News Article

2005-12-04T23:07:00.000-08:00

click on the scanned image to read the fine print.

Good Thing about December :-)

2005-12-02T22:05:00.000-08:00

In a drear-nighted December,
Too happy, happy tree,
Thy branches ne'er remember
Their green felicity:
The north cannot undo them,
With a sleety whistle through them;
Nor frozen thawings glue them
From budding at the prime.

In a drear-nighted December,
Too happy, happy brook,
Thy bubblings ne'er remember
Apollo's summer look;
But with a sweet forgetting,
They stay their crystal fretting,
Never, never petting,
About the frozen time.

Ah! would 'twere so with many
A gentle girl and boy!
But were there ever any
Writhed not at passed Joy?
To know the change and feel it,
When there is none to heal it,
Nor numbed sense to steel it,
Was never said in rhyme!

- Anonymous

Global Warming!

2005-12-02T21:42:00.000-08:00

Lageraho!

2005-11-25T02:34:00.000-08:00

picked this image from one of the networking board where am a member... FuFa !!
its aptly called "Lageraho!"

Marriage, Husbands and Wives

2005-11-20T02:26:00.000-08:00

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
-- David Bissonette

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
-- Sacha Guitry

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out.
-- Montaigne

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
-- Hemant Joshi

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
-- Socrates

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?
-- Freud

"The secret of a successful marriage is not to be at home too much."
-- Colin Chapman

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't."
-- Patrick Murray

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
-- Groucho Marx

silence please !!

2005-11-11T02:33:00.000-08:00

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, "I Clocked you at 80 mile per hour, sir." The driver says, "Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar needs calibrating."

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says sweetly from the passenger seat, "Now don't be silly, dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you keep your mouth shut for once?"

The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did."

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth,"Darn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?!"

The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."

The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket."

The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU SHUT THE HELL UP?!"

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"

"Oh, heavens no, officer. Only when he's been drinking."

I no it !!

2005-11-08T22:11:00.000-08:00

Hii..
A brand new day.. and time for some laughs published in aaj ka akbaar!
Even as there's no dearth of bright Punekars, we stumbled upon some pearls of wisdom

Q: Full form of UPA
A: Universal Public Assembly and United Peace Association

Q: What do you know about Volcker's report?
A: Something related to some minister in India

Q: Why is Natwar Singh in news?
A: Because he (Natwar) bought oil from Saddam and sold it.

Q: What is Sensex?
A: Something that goes up and down in shares

Q: Who was the first OO7?
A: Pierce Brosnan

Q: Full form of STD
A: State Tariff Dialing

Q: What is Sushi?
A: Japanese style of flower arrangement

[courtesy: Saket Ambarkhane: TOI Pune Edition]

Men are from Mars... right?

2005-11-07T22:16:00.000-08:00

Psychoanalysis for Men vs. Women

Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for a man then for a women?
Because when it's time to go back to childhood, a man is already there.
Tee hee hee.... :)))

Click on the image to read them... But press backspace to come back !!

Danger...!!!

2005-11-07T22:11:00.000-08:00

Napoleon once said - "The torment of precautions often exceeds the dangers to be avoided. It is sometimes better to abandon one's self to destiny."

Meeeeeooooow!

2005-11-03T23:23:00.000-08:00

Disorder in American Courts

2005-11-03T22:56:00.000-08:00

Recd this thru a fwd.. its an old one.. but hilarious so couldnt resist posting it here!

These are excerpts from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. They get progressively "better" as you read below.

Q: Are you sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there.

Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 18th.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.

Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?

Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.

Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.

Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?

Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?

Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr.Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

Puzzle

2005-11-02T21:36:00.000-08:00

ITS A 7 LETTER WORD.

IF WE REMOVE 1 LETTER FROM IT, IT REMAINS SAME.

IF WE REMOVE 2 LETTERS FROM IT, IT REMAINS SAME.

IF WE REMOVE 3 LETTERS FROM IT, IT REMAINS SAME.

IF WE REMOVE ALL THE LETTERS FROM IT, STILL IT REMAINS SAME.

WHATZ IT ?

[xobtsop]

Bumper Sticker!

2005-11-01T22:13:00.000-08:00

Saw this bumper sticker today -

"I Brake For No Apparent Reason."

Celebration!

2005-11-01T20:48:00.000-08:00

The way is not in the sky, the way is in the heart. --Gautama Buddha

My Celebration this Diwali reflected this quote.

Not long ago.. my mind was tormented by the fact that Mothers-in-law and Daughters-in-law cannot coexist peacefully
The debate that started in my college days.. went thru various youth forums i was part of, finally spilled into my life
3 years! No fights.. No arguements..
Yet there was this unexplainable vaccum of silent grouse that lingered between us.
Its not easy to fight the feeling..
Its not easy to live with it either..
Its not easy to explain that her son will remain her son even if he's a husband and a father!
Its not easy to explain that no one can ever come between the mother son relationship!
Its not easy....
Its not impossible either!

A miracle happened.
Suddenly the vaccum seemed to have vanished
Suddenly there were bright lights and laughter and hope
Suddenly we were laughing together..!

Together.. we are taking care of the miracle that happened in our lives
My son (ummha!) has given me, my best diwali ever!
Thank you darling!

2005-10-30T03:39:00.000-08:00

Precious!

2005-10-28T23:36:00.000-07:00

Isnt it true?

Happiness always looks small
while you hold it in your hands,
but let it go,
and you learn at once
how big and precious it is

Classic!

2005-10-27T22:42:00.000-07:00

very old one.. but classic !

Flash news

2005-10-27T03:35:00.000-07:00

A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in Punjab
Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still digging for more..!

Gogh Gogh! ;)

2005-10-25T04:28:00.000-07:00

After much careful research it has been discovered that the artist Vincent Van Gogh had many relatives. Among them were:

His obnoxious brother...................................Please Gogh

His dizzy aunt .........................................Verti Gogh

The brother who ate prunes..............................Gotta Gogh

The brother who worked at a convenience store...........Stopn Gogh

The grandfather from Yugoslavia.........................U Gogh

The brother who bleached his clothes white..............Hue Gogh

The cousin from Illinois................................Chica Gogh

His magician uncle......................................Wherediddy Gogh

His Mexican cousin......................................Amee Gogh

The Mexican cousin's American half brother..............Grin Gogh

The nephew who drove a stage coach .....................Wellsfar Gogh

The constipated uncle ..................................Cant Gogh

The ballroom dancing aunt...............................Tan Gogh

The bird lover uncle....................................Flamin Gogh

His nephew psychoanalyst................................E Gogh

The fruit loving cousin.................................Man Gogh

An aunt who taught positive thinking....................Wayto Gogh

The little bouncy nephew................................Poe Gogh

A sister who loved disco................................Go Gogh

His Italian uncle.......................................Day Gogh

And his niece who travels the country in a van..........Winnie Bay Gogh

the current situation is...

2005-10-22T00:07:00.000-07:00

Have your say...!!!

2005-10-20T22:12:00.000-07:00

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good, either.

I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.

Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.

There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved by a suitable application of high explosives.

Tell me what you need and I'll tell you how to get along without it.

Accept that some days you're the pigeon and some days you're the statue.

Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again.

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

Last night, I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?"

My Reality Check bounced.

On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the Escape key.

I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.

You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons because, to them, you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.

Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level.

Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?

Obvious Riddles!

2005-10-20T04:03:00.000-07:00

Q: If a plane crashed on the border of England and Scotland, where would they bury the survivors?
A: you don't bury survivors

Q: Twelve pears hanging high, twelve men passing by, each took a pear and left eleven hanging there. How can this be? How can eleven pears be left?
A: 'Each' is a mans name!

Q: If there's a frog, dead in the centre of a lilypad which is right in the middle of the pond, which side would it jump to?
A: neither, the frog is dead!

Q: You're a bus driver. At the first stop 4 people get on. At the second stop 8 people on, at the third stop 2 people get off and, at the forth stop everyone got off. The question is what color are the bus drivers eyes?
A: The same as yours, you're the bus driver.

Q: What never gets any wetter, no matter how much it rains?
A: The sea!

Q: A man went outside in the pouring rain with no protection, but not a hair on his head got wet...how come?
A: He was bald.

Q: What has a mouth but doesn't eat, a bank with no money, a bed but doesn't sleep, and waves but has no hands?
A: a river.

Q: A cowboy rode to an inn on Friday. He stayed two nights and left on Friday. How could that be?
A: His horse was called Friday.

Q: If the red house is on the right side and if the blue house is on the left side where's the white house?
A: Washington DC

Motivation!

2005-10-20T03:48:00.000-07:00

Sound of Jew Li

2005-10-19T04:01:00.000-07:00

To commemorate her 69th birthday on October 1, actress/vocalist Julie Andrews made a special appearance at Manhattan's Radio City Music Hall for the benefit of the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP).

One of the musical numbers she performed was My Favourite Things

Taking the tune from the legendary movie Sound Of Music the lyrics of the song were deliberately changed for the entertainment of her blue hair audience.

When you read Julie's new rendition it helps to hum the melody at the same time - Here are the lyrics she recited:

Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,
Bundles of magazines tied up in string,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Cadillacs and cataracts and hearing aids and glasses,
Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,
Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

When the pipes leak,
When the bones creak,
When the knees go bad,
I simply remember my favorite things,

And then I don't feel so bad.

Hot tea and crumpets, and corn pads for bunions,
No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,
Bathrobes and heat pads and hot meals they bring,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Back pains, confused brains, and no fear of sinnin',
Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin',
And we won't mention our short shrunken frames,
When we remember our favorite things.

When the joints ache,
when the hips break,
When the eyes grow dim,
Then I remember the great life I've had,
And then I don't feel so bad.

Ms. Andrews received a standing ovation from the crowd that lasted over four minutes, and had repeated encores.

for a few laughs more...

2005-10-19T03:52:00.000-07:00

Life's Great Philosophies, found on a T-shirt

2005-10-19T03:47:00.000-07:00

Procrastinate Now.Rehab Is for Quitters.

FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. It comes bundled with the software.

That's It! I'm Calling Grandma! (seen on an 8 year old)

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere!

Time's fun when you're having flies.......Kermit the Frog.

HECK IS WHERE PEOPLE GO WHO DON'T BELIEVE IN GOSH.

A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS,but it uses up a thousand times the memory.

The Meek shall inherit the earth....after we're through with it.

HAM AND EGGS - A day's work for a chicken;A lifetime commitment for a pig.

IF THERE IS NO GOD, WHO POPS UP THE NEXT KLEENEX?

The original point-and-click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

My husband and I divorced over religious differences.He thought he was God, and I didn't.

:)

New Orleans vs. Mumbai

2005-10-19T03:44:00.000-07:00

inches of rain in new orleans due to hurricane katrina... 18
inches of rain in mumbai (July 27th).... 37.1
population of new orleans... 484,674
population of mumbai.... 12,622,500
deaths in new orleans within 48 hours of katrina...100
deaths in mumbai within 48hours of rain.. 37.
number of people to be evacuated in new orleans... entire city..wohh
number of people evacuated in mumbai...10,000
Cases of shooting and violence in new orleans...Countless
Cases of shooting and violence in mumbai.. NONE
Time taken for US army to reach new orleans... 48hours
Time taken for Indian army and navy to reach mumbai...12hours
status 48hours later... New Orleans is still waiting for relief, army and electricity
status 48hours later... Mumbai is back on its feet and is business is as usual

USA ...world's most developed nation !!
India ...third world country !!

My Baby

2005-10-18T23:24:00.000-07:00

When my baby laughed for the first time, the laugh broke into a thousand pieces and they all went skipping about, and that was the beginning of fairies.

And now it seems to me when every new baby is born its first laugh becomes a fairy. So there ought to be one fairy for every boy or girl

:)

The Bunny and The Baby and The Prophylactic Pup

2005-10-17T23:22:00.000-07:00

Strictly Germ-Proof The Antiseptic Baby and the Prophylactic Pup
Were playing in the garden when the Bunny gambolled up;
They looked upon the creature with a loathing undisguised;
It wasn't disinfected and it wasn't sterilised.
They said it was microbic and a hotbed of disease;
They steamed it in a vapor of a thousand-odd degrees;
They froze it in a freezer that was cold as banished hope
And washed it in permanganate with carbolated soap.
In sulphurated hydrogen they steeped its wiggly ears;
They trimmed its frisky whiskers with a pair of hard-boiled shears;
They donned their rubber mittens and they took it by the hand
And 'lected it a member of the Fumigated Band.
There's not a micrococcus in the garden where they play;
They bathe in pure iodoform a dozen times a day;
And each imbibes his rations from a hygienic cup
— The Bunny and The Baby and The Prophylactic Pup.
:)
(Arthur Guiterman)

New Beginnings

2005-10-14T00:33:00.000-07:00

Every morning is a fresh beginning. Every day is the world made new. Today is a new day. Today is my world made new. I have lived all my life up to this moment, to come to this day. This moment--this day--is as good as any moment in all eternity. I shall make of this day--each moment of this day--a heaven on earth. This is my day of opportunity.--Dan Custer

Hi..

My entry into the blog world is very much like the quote above.

I hope to express my opinion, my thoughts.. my feelings about things that matter to me, and things that dont.

I hope to have fun here! Its a new beginning for me!

Effort

2005-10-14T00:16:00.000-07:00

“Did you give it your best?” he asked as I dragged my feet toward the car.

Our college baseball team had just been beaten four to one. I looked up to see a man in a baseball cap with a clipboard.

“I guess so,” was my reply.

“Good. Then you have no reason to hang your head.”

“But we lost,” was all I could say.

“Yeah, that has a way of happening,” he said. “Do you think the other team did their best?”

“They played better than us,” I replied.

“Of course they did. That’s why they won. But then, you guys won the previous three games. And you are batting .355. I wouldn’t call it a bad season at all, would you?”

What was this guy getting at anyway? I always tried my best. My dad had taught me that. He never left anything half done, nor did he ever back out of a commitment or promise. His motto was to give it your all, even if the situation looked hopeless.

The man with the clipboard handed me a business card. It was then that I noticed the World Series ring on his finger.

“If you’re serious about always giving it your best effort, give me a call at the end of the season. I’d like to bring you into the majors.”